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Was that an ad, or did I just get punched in the gut?
I wrote a blog about 2 weeks ago about Microsoft's new ad campaign featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates (see: Windows Not Blogs). I was pretty critical of Microsoft's concept, however I was interested in seeing the campaign thinking that maybe, premiere ad agency, Crispin Porter + Bogusky (CP + B) could make magic with a seemingly weak foundation. Unfortunately for CP + B, as the saying goes, you can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig ... calm down John McCain, I'm not talking about Sarah Palin here, HEY-OH!!! Seems even CP + B couldn't help Microsoft here.
Over the weekend I saw the "ad" for the first time and my initial reaction was to soil myself. That's right people, I piddled myself, then went into a stupor after watching this atrocity called an ad. After recovering from my catatonic state, I cried wondering why Microsoft would do that to me. If you think I'm joking, watch the "ad", and notice that, the entire minute and a half of the abomination, your jaw drops even further in disgust and amazement pondering if you are actually watching an ad, or being tortured in Guantanamo Bay.
Me being the masochist that I am, I watched the commercial 3 or 4 more times in hopes that it would get better or make more sense, unfortunately it doesn't. In-fact, you're left even more so confused and concerned about the well-being of your brain cells, because I'm pretty sure a few of mine commit suicide every time that commercial comes on.
Now, for those of you who haven't seen this "ad" I'm going to attempt to describe it to you. The "ad" starts with Jerry Seinfeld walking through the mall eating a churro. While walking past a shoe store called "The Shoe Circus" he notices Bill Gates in there trying on a shoe called "The Conquistador". Now, that's the most sensible portion of the ad, and that's within the first 5/10 seconds of a 90 second ad, this means that you have 80/85 seconds of nonsensical dribble. I'm going to attempt to describe the rest of it, however that may be tough since I blackout every time I try to watch the "ad". Jerry enters the store and starts sizing Bill's foot? He then has the store clerk get Bill a size 10 shoe. They then spend a portion of the commercial bending the shoes back and forth, as Jerry talks about showering in his clothes? All the while there's a group of spectators peering through the window, for what reason we will never know. Then Bill purchases this pair of shoes, and leaves. Jerry walking alongside Bill asks him something about his brain being melded to Microsoft, I don't know, it doesn't make an ounce of sense. The commercial concludes when Jerry asks Bill to give him a sign if they have any future products that will make computers taste like cake so we can eat them while working on them, to which Bill indicates yes by doing some weird gyration with his hips that looks like a mix between Elvis and the no-hand junk shift. Guys you know what I'm talking about, the move where your boxers bunch up, but you can't unzip your pants and readjust them with your hands. So you do that ever-so subtle, yet obvious, wiggle trying to attain comfort. If you think I'm joking about that last part, I'm not. I'm pretty sure I threw up in my mouth a little after seeing that.
Is this what $300m is being spent on? Seriously, they could have spent that on Pet Rocks and Chia Pets and I'd consider that to be a better investment. In-fact, the only shining moment of the commercial is when the camera cuts away to the crowd gathering outside of the shoe store, and a lady asks in Spanish, "Is that the Conquistador?", and, who I presume is her husband responds, "They run tight". That got a chuckle out of me. The rest is garbage.
The ensuing days after watching the commercial, I've expressed my disdain for the "ad", how I feel it makes absolutely no sense, and doesn't even make mention of anything Microsoft product related. Most people, mainly those who haven't seen the commercial, have said to me, "Oh well Seinfeld always had a lot of random humor in his show. You probably just didn't get it." ... no, that's not it. If there's anyone out there who can appreciate a random thought/joke, it's this guy *points both thumbs at myself*. I would be fine if it were random and funny, but this is random and stupid bordering on irrevocably damaging to your sense of humor.
I equate watching that commercial to seeing your friend and his girlfriend argue. You sit there thinking, "I really shouldn't be involved with this.", you try to do anything else to keep from watching it, hoping that it'll end soon, because all you're doing is getting uncomfortable. So you go get a glass of water thinking if you leave for a little bit and come back the coast will be clear, only to return when one of them says, "I don't like your mother anyway!" as the other is crying uncontrollably. Imagine that discomfort, now pretend it's Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld you're watching.
Regardless, I hope Microsoft has something better lined up for the next commercial, because if I see a commercial with Bill and Jerry on an episode of "The Dog Whisperer", I can't be held accountable for my actions.
OMG ...I've seen that "ad" and had no idea what it was trying to accomplish...You know what I thought at the end of the "ad" and the signal...I thought of the movie "Shallow Hal" where Jerry's friend " George" plays a character in the movie who admits he has a deformity at the end of his spine that he can wiggle like a dogs tail....That's what I got from the "ad"..Are you really a masochist ???
Posted by SusanClawson
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